I was meeting a friend for coffee and this question came up: What do you need? I have no difficulty asking that question and even providing what others need, but I have a lot of difficulty asking for what I need so much so that when asked, I often have no idea what to say.
After my brain injury, I was asked this question a lot, and I didn't know what to say. My friend asked me this question last week and I still had no idea what to say.
I stopped to think:
What do I need?
And then my brain starts editing: what is a worthy need? What am I worthy of asking for? Does she really care about what I need?
All these questions are byproducts of programming that tells me my needs are not important. ⠀⠀⠀
So I checked in with my heart: What do I need?
I need help developing a few class ideas I have.
I need words of encouragement.
I need to know I'm not alone.
I need to know I can do this.
I need to know there are people on my side.
I need a a few hugs. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don't necessarily "need" anything, but those are the things I consistently need.
Another aspect complicating this, is not trusting others to give us what we need. Past experiences of others denying us, mocking us, belittling us when we asked for what we need prevents us from reaching out and asking for help. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All of these entrained stories can be addressed through BodyTalk and acupuncture and we can heal these deeply held stories and create room for healing, safety, asking, and the ability to trust others with our needs. ⠀⠀⠀
What do you need today?